Q: What's Whitney Houston's favorite kind of coordination?
A: HAAAND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYE
— brandon sheffield (@necrosofty) January 3, 2017
my mom yesterday: do u work tomorrow
my mom today: do u work today
me: yes i already told u
my mom when i'm at work: where are u
— Semra (@SemraDurmisevic) July 15, 2017
my other organs: please help us .
— sam (@smeezi) July 26, 2017
hate when people say "if u think this is better than sex, u haven't had good sex!", like no, maybe you've just never had good lasagna, Carol
— Audrey Xmas Porne (@AudreyPorne) August 4, 2017
PUBLISHER: I hope this is better than your last book idea about a murderer called Hurderer
THOMAS HARRIS: Its about a cannibal
P: Go on
— Tom Neenan (@TNeenan) July 31, 2017