Anybody who has ever been on Twitter knows Twitter is a true hellscape on which reside mansplainers, literal Neo-Nazis, and trolls galore. And yet the universe dictates that with the bad there must always be the good. This here list of jokes is the yin to that yang:
1.
julius caesar (dying after being stabbed 23 times): please…name a salad after me
— Hippo (@InternetHippo) October 21, 2017
2.
what if the FBI agent monitoring my laptop activity falls in love with me
— haroun (@hqdada) December 8, 2017
3.
from left to right: me on twitter, facebook, tumblr, instagram, and linkedin pic.twitter.com/sLDFpPsgzk
— Michelle Lee (@heymichellelee) February 26, 2017
4.
Me: *accidentally types url wrong one time*
Navigation Bar: [every day for 15 years] Do you wanna go to Faceboot today? Huh? You wanna visit a boot with a face on it? Huh, you piece of shit? Is that what you wanna do? Moron.
— Mark Magark (@markedly) December 19, 2017
5.
GOD: You have probably 70-80 years at most before you die, ideally.
MAN: oh. well, i'll make the most of-
GOD: You'll be unconscious for 1/3 of the time.
MAN: ..uh
GOD: *leans in* That'll be your favorite part.— A Ray in a Manger (@SirEviscerate) December 19, 2017