Twitter is a beautiful and magical place where, in 140 characters or less, women are changing the world. Ok fine, maybe not always “changing the world,” but definitely making solid jokes about our boobs.
If I had a dollar for every time I hit a curb I’d have like 27 dollars which isn’t a lot of money but is a lot of times to hit a curb
— Bailey (@baybaydayday) October 18, 2018
How to get a boyfriend as told by a kindergartner:
“well you just get a best friend that’s a boy then you love him so much he turns into your boyfriend! It’s really easy Ms. Lockwood”
— anna (@_anna1205) October 22, 2018
that’s ross gellar, sir pic.twitter.com/xbahPYb4wh
— rach (@stherondale) October 23, 2018
Been getting a lot of bread lately. Not money but my carb intake is just unreal
— macklemore???? (@macallmaryhew) October 22, 2018
me tweeting about postmates to my followers that live in wyoming pic.twitter.com/y4BW1hM5AH
— emma (@emmachamberlain) October 22, 2018
more than one stove is a steve
— kim. (@KimmyMonte) October 24, 2018
of mice and men be like
/ / ????
___????????__/ / ????
_______|______ / ????(__)✌????
— the girl with the sample text tattoo (@turnthepge) October 21, 2018
If men are so tough then why do they die
— schmox (@IvoryGazelle) October 21, 2018
I went through the chick fil a drive through bawling and the girl asked me if I wanted a chocolate or vanilla milkshake. And I was like no I ordered a sweet tea and she goes “no honey you need a milkshake”
— Mi (@remigiomia) October 23, 2018
Between my nighttime regimen and my morning routine, I'd say applying skincare products is about 18-19 hours of my day.
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) October 24, 2018
I made a meme about punctuation pic.twitter.com/2Dy2qGR3D2
— Clare Costello (@cemcostello) October 24, 2018
people say writing is rewriting but i beg to differ and say that writing is, in fact, mostly crying
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) October 25, 2018
Just spent $8 on ice cream that wasn’t very good but I also spent 4 years on a boy who wasn’t very good so I’m used to waste
— gov michaela (@MichaelaOkla) October 22, 2018