11.
CHANGING YOUR DUVET COVER
-remember to use your energy sparingly. It's a marathon, not a sprint
-make sure you stay hydrated
-don't panic— Manytypesoftea (@manytypesoftea) July 15, 2017
12.
https://twitter.com/mutablejoe/status/943573942043897856
13.
me: [pointing gun in air] "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS IS A ROBBERY"
girl: "dude, this is a library"
me: "oh" [screwing on a silencer] "ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵇᵒᵈʸ ᶫᶦˢᵗᵉᶰ ᵘᵖ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶦˢ ᵃ ʳᵒᵇᵇᵉʳʸ"— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) November 28, 2017
14.
[concert]
SINGER: hows everyone doin tonight
CROWD: woo
ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): it's actually been a tough few months— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) May 9, 2017
15.
Me: *slapping my older brother in the face with his own hand* haha stop hitting yourself, why are you hitting yourself
Sister-in-law: *crying* is this why you wanted an open casket
— dick snickers (@smithsara79) December 11, 2017