66.
Showing my date around my house-
Me: …and this is where I eat the Doritos… *gestures to my bed*
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) November 17, 2017
67.
https://twitter.com/kwirkyKerri/status/926286458763206657
68.
WIFE: His obsession with Star Wars is out of hand
THERAPIST: Is that true?
ME: *adjusting Yoda mask* Cloud us with your lies you have, Karen— Floyd (@dafloydsta) February 2, 2017
69.
*Goes to bakery to try wedding cake samples*
Baker: "When is your wedding?"
Me: *with mouthful of cake*
"What wedding?"
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) July 9, 2017
70.
[high school]
ME: *getting stuffed in my locker* jokes on you buddy, I have snacks in here— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) September 1, 2017