31.
"You know, you could just do it now & not have to worry about it later"
Me: *extremely mature voice* you know, you could just eat my ass
— Not Sara (@smithsara79) December 13, 2017
32.
English friend: How's it going in America
Me: California is still burning and we almost elected a pedophile— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) December 13, 2017
33.
when it's cold outside nothing has calories
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) December 15, 2017
34.
“Fuck it, it’s Christmas” has been used too often in the last 2 weeks.
— Georgie. (@Georgiepotter_) December 15, 2017
35.
Bitches love when you don't call them bitches.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) December 16, 2017
36.
I like to end my seriously depressing texts with “haha” so people don’t send the police to my house
— JAY [ham] KAY (@NurseMurderer) December 15, 2017
37.
person: h-
me wearing a jumpsuit: it's a jumpsuit— gay apparel (@figgled) December 12, 2017
38.
“yea” “wyd” “oh” “cool” “sup” “ok” “lol”
— Sara (@saradesdinn) December 11, 2017
39.
Can we normalize queefing???? Clearly y'all don't understand science! It's not my fault ur dick is pushing air up my vagina, it's yours
— layniebug (@malaynap) December 13, 2017
40.
my 2018 resolution is to learn to spell occasion and entrepreneur
— harriet pudney (@lqpharriet) December 13, 2017