9 Ways Your Toxic Past Relationship Was Actually A Good Thing

Many of us have gone through several relationships in our lives. Some of them are great, some of them are toxic and left a bad taste in our mouths. For whatever reason, they just didn’t work out. After you get out of a toxic or bad relationship in your life, it’s only natural to feel bitter and angry. A lot of times, we feel resentment towards the person who did us wrong and wasted our time. We look for revenge, we try to “get back at them,” and sometimes we even torture ourselves for being so naive for so long. While all of these are pretty normal for many people, there are also ways to look at negative relationships in our life that have ended as a positive learning experience with lessons we can take away. By doing so, we save ourselves time and energy feeling unhappy, miserable and angry.

1. You now can see signs of bad situations as red flags.

After being with someone and knowing what you don’t like/need/want, you can further prepare yourself for future situations where you may not like something someone does or how they treat you. Now, you’ll see it earlier on and not waste your own time.

2. You learn to stand up for yourself.

After being a doormat or complacent in a bad relationship, after a few years of your heart taking a beating, you learn to have a backbone and speak up when you are being treated poorly or in a way you don’t find acceptable.

3. You can see the signs of someone doing you wrong or cheating.

If you were in a relationship where your trust was broken or you were cheated on, you can now see the signs and cues that someone may be doing you dirty, and, you can confront them head-on.

4. You’re upfront with what you want from the get-go in any relationship.

Instead of watching your hopes be shattered and constantly feeling uneasy, you make it clear from the start with someone you are dating what you want in life and love. By doing so, you ensure you’re with someone who doesn’t disappoint you and who wants the same things you do. If they don’t, you know to move on.

5. You no longer apologize for having feelings or reactions.

Instead of being passive and allowing someone to make you feel “crazy” or “unstable” for being angry about something, having an emotional reaction to something or not caring for a specific way they treat you, you now know that it’s okay to speak up. You no longer let someone label you in order to bring you down and shut you up.

Written by Lex Gabrielle

A writer and teacher from New York City who fully supports messy buns and 3+ cups of coffee a day.