9 Signs Your Partner Isn’t Your Forever Partner

Many of us will have one or more longterm significant relationships throughout our lives. We learn a lot when we first step into the dating world; We learn what we like and dislike in a relationship, the types of human we enjoy gifting our time to. We learn to set boundaries as we mature emotionally, what we are attracted to, what are absolute deal breakers.

Of course none of that actually matters when we fall for someone. It’s the reason most people have a “type.” That being said, our love and affection for our partner may be blinding us to the point of self-harm. The following red flags simply must be addressed, in one way or another.

I’ll let you decide how.

1. They want sex way more or way less than you do.

I cannot stress enough the importance of sexual compatibility. If you plan on staying monogamous and your partner wants to have sex way more or way less than you do, the relationship will 100% end. This is a fact.

As the greatest disperser of sex advice Dan Savage once wrote, “Divorce courts are filled to bursting with couples who make this mistake—a mistake that gets harder to unmake with every dog you adopt or lease you sign.” The mistake of course being sexual incompatibility. Get out before you make the dog mistake or the child mistake. Get out even if you’ve already made both.

2. They hate on all their exes.

Think about it this way: What is the common denominator between your partner and all their exes?

That’s right. Him. (Or her.)

Some relationships end badly and a certain level or disgust or even hate is understandable. But if this applies to every single person they have ever dated, chances are they are the problem.

3. They don’t want to Be Better.

This is a highly subjective but no less important matter to consider.

If your partner isn’t striving for progress in some way and this bothers you, you will ultimately find yourself unhappy in the relationship. And you only have yourself to blame!

Did you start dating this person with the hope or expectation that they’d change? That’s on you. We all move on our own personal timelines, and for some people those timelines involve no movement at all. Are you ok with that? If not, where do you expect this relationship to really go?

Furthermore, if basic life skills like finance management, holding onto a job, or showering are giving your partner trouble, it’s time to look at this from a time management perspective. If mastering the basics is taking up all your time, what happens when something more complicated comes along?

4. They resist putting a label on your relationship.

This is pretty self-explanatory. There is a reason they don’t want to “go public” with your relationship, and I bet if you thought about it even a little bit you’d realize you already know why.

I don’t know the answer. It’s your relationship.

But reiterating my last point: Don’t go into a relationship expecting change. Know what you need out of a relationship.

If your absence from all their social medias bothers you (it should!) then make some moves, fam! YOU decide how you want to be treated.

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Written by Lex Gabrielle

A writer and teacher from New York City who fully supports messy buns and 3+ cups of coffee a day.