9 Ways To Help Your Friend Through A Bad Breakup

Once or twice in life, there comes a time where we all get our hearts broken. It’s that devastating feeling where you feel as though the floor is coming out from under you. The feeling where your stomach drops out of you, like you’re on a roller coaster not strapped in. The feeling where you are stranded, treading in the middle of the ocean with no life boat in site.

Heartbreak is hard to go through – especially alone. When you see someone you love going through this kind of pain, all you want to do is immediately erase it and let her start over – rid of all toxic emotions and heartache. But, we know, that’s wishful thinking.

There are ways that you can be a great friend while the ones you love are suffering – and, it’s important to remember how to do it right, without hurting them even more.

1. Be their soundboard.

Allow your friend to vent to you about anything and everything their feeling – with full assurance they can trust you. You may have other friends you’re close with, but if someone decides to confide in you – their business is their business alone. You shouldn’t go around spreading other people’s words, especially in a time of distress.

Listen to why their hurting and how they’re hurting, with open ears and an open heart.

2. Reach out more often than usual.

It’s important to make sure your friend knows that they are not alone in the process of heartbreak and healing. Sending an extra few texts during the day or sending them a funny meme or two will remind them that you’re here for them – even if they’re not ready to open up just yet.

3. Give advice, but don’t lecture.

They may ask for your insight or advice on how to cope or heal – but, it’s important not to parent your friends or lecture them. They may have done things in their relationship you disagree with, and rather than being the person who says, “I told you so,” you should be the friend who is open-minded and understanding.

4. Don’t take things personally.

Your friend is going through a really hard time – so it’s likely that they’re going to be flakey and out of sorts with themselves and, most likely with you. Never take this time in your friendship personally. It’s nothing against you – your friend loves you just the same as they always have – they are just blurred to the site of reality right now, masked by their pain and emotions.

5. Remind them of their worth.

Always remain positive and point out “silver linings” when your friend is struggling through a bad breakup. Show them that they are better off without their ex and why. Don’t lie – you won’t have to. Chances are, their ex was dead weight and only bringing them down. Remind them why they will move on and what they deserve.

6. Don’t be controlling.

Don’t try and control everything and anything your friend does. She may start texting their ex late at night – don’t take her phone away and hide it. It’s important to let your friend make their own decisions and learn on their own, you cannot control everything they do. If it’s a bad decision, they will learn the hard way and, won’t repeat it again.

7. Know your limits.

With that being said, you can’t do everything to make their heartache go away. You can be the friend to cheer them up, take them out, make them feel human again – but you can’t erase their pain. Try your best to put a smile on their face, but realize that you can’t change what happened or how it happened.

8. Don’t compare your ex to their ex and your heartbreak to their heartbreak.

Every relationship is different, which means ever breakup is different. Don’t compare your past pain to your friend’s and realize that by doing so, you may come off as marginalizing their situation. If they ask, you can spill your guts – but only if they ask.

9. Distract them.

Take them out for a great night out where they can drink, dance and clear their head. Watch their favorite movie with them with their favorite snacks. Figure out ways to keep them from laying in bed all day wondering where they went wrong.