Don’t feel too bad, HylianAlchemist. Those footlongs aren’t even a full foot long each:
I recently moved to a new city, and there’s a Subway across the street from my complex. I decided to go there for dinner and wanted to get a footlong for that night and another one for tomorrow. Except I’m a big guy, they wouldn’t believe I wouldn’t eat them both in one sitting. So being the idiot I am I ordered one for me and had my phone out pretending to get an order from my “brother.” Pretty sure they knew, pretty sure they judged, jokes on me though, I ate them both in one sitting anyways.
Sometimes it’s ok to not want to talk to anybody, barelyawake24!
I was going leave my room to make dinner but then I heard my roommates and their friends talking outside. I didn’t want to talk to them so I waited until they left and just bought take out instead.
Ok this is just essentially a dad joke, Jezzmoz:
This reminds me of one of mine.
Boyfriend – “Jess, this is my mom”
Mom – “Hi Jess!”
Me – “Hi Mom!”
A part of me died that day.
Nice save, sketchbookassassin:
Asked a worker in the mall for assistance the other day. she looked at me really weird and said she didn’t worked there. i internally freaked out. i said “i know” and asked if she could still help, she agreed and turned around to walk in the direction i needed help (facing away from me) and i immediately power walked out of there.