You must’ve been a cat in your past life, BetterthanAdam:
My parents always bring up the time when I was 4 and we were at this Mexican restaurant. Apparently they started singing “Happy Birthday” to me, to which I smiled, but then got nervous and promptly, confidently, leaned over and bit my dad on the arm.
Sometimes anxiety literally causes you to forget your name:
Bartender asked me what my name was….I forgot and had to think about it.
At least you made a friend, Chumbolex:
After work, I decide to get a beer at a bar. I teach night classes on a side of town I’m not used to, so I go into random sports bar and I sit alone. I do not watch most sports. Later…
Me (in my mind): it’s getting late. I should go home.
Random guy: hey, this Texans game is good! Can’t believe (something footbally happened)
Me (pretending to know football stuff): yeah, these dudes are dope! The Texans are in for some trouble if they mess up!
Guy: FINALLY! Someone on my side!!
The guy buys me beer. We are now best friends. Turns out we are the only fans of whatever the other team is in this bar. We bond over our outsider status. I have no idea what to say and as the night goes on, he keeps buying beer. I have pretended to like football for too long to come clean now. I end up watching the whole game. Our team lost. I didn’t get home until midnight
Great, now I’ll be thinking about this every time I drive in the rain, SIPwater:
I get self conscious of the speed of my window wipers. I’m always comparing to other cars so I don’t look like I’m over doing it