Wow, trialobite‘s tactic is truly masterful:
The other day at my small office I went to the bathroom to fix my shirt which I had worn inside out. When I went into the stall the bathroom was empty. As I flipped my shirt around someone walked into the stall next to me. I also used some toilet paper to wipe my nose (slight cold) and dropped the paper in the bowl. This triggered the auto flush sensor and it flushed. My predicament began when I realized I also had to pee, but since I had already used TP and flushed my twisted mind decided this would seem really weird to the person next door. “Why would someone use the bathroom, flush… and then stand up and pee again?” said no one ever… But I couldn’t, they might recognize my shoes and know who I was.
So instead I hatched a clever deception. I left the stall and washed my hands to seem normal, despite that I hadn’t even used ths bathroom. After drying I walked loudly to the exit and opened the door into the hall, then I said “oh excuse me” like I had accidentally bumped into someone else coming in, and walked right back in. I made sure to change the sound of my footsteps walking more quietly so that stall-man would think I was a different person and not some freak playing bathroom charades. Then I went to the urinal and peed and then washed my hands again, using the farthest sink so he couldn’t spot my shoes.
I’m a retail cashier. A woman was buying a dress and humorously stated that she might be too fat for it. Me, never one to disagree with a customer, smiled and said, “Yup!”
I burned a few calories hitting my head on the counter after that exchange.
Edit: People are asking what happened afterwards. She didn’t catch it right away, but as she walked off I think the penny dropped. I was left to wallow at my register for the remainder of my shift.
Honest mistake, itsnotnormal21. Also, what’s a Bonefish?
My girlfriend was a server at a restaurant called Bonefish and she was supposed to ask “Have you ever dined at Bonefish?” but instead she asked “Have you ever boned at Dinefish?” She was mortified but her customers thought it was hilarious.
I feel like this can happen to anyone, BurningTimber8921:
I once got off the wrong bus stop on purpose because I didn’t want to tell the bus to stop, so I just waited for it to stop itself.