Do you ever wonder exactly who all these people are cranking out hilarious tweets all day? Well you’re in luck because every week we’ll be bringing you the top tweets and a little background on some of our favorite twitter peeps.
This week: Abby Cohen (@abbycohenwl)
A brief bio written by Abby:
I’m Abby and I remember starting Twitter like it was nine years ago. “I do not understand,” I recall thinking in 2009, and let me tell you, I miss thinking. But now my head’s full of Twitter, so that ship has sailed.
I tweeted maybe ten times from then till fall 2014, when I launched into “jokes.” I have no idea what I’m doing. It’s the same method I use to parent my two large and very excellent children. We live in LA. I make medium bucks writing corporate marketing materials for The Man. None of this has prepared me for a good way to end this so I will close with a swell word I like, which is Pants.
Some of Abby’s best tweets.
Realized I never said "unquote" after reciting a famous poem in 10th grade. Sorry if you thought everything I've said since is Shakespeare
— Abby Holidays (@abbycohenwl) March 23, 2015
One day I will push this button in the elevator and receive my free fireman hat pic.twitter.com/VEf8biylRH
— Abby Holidays (@abbycohenwl) July 13, 2017
[knocks on neighbor's door]
HI CAN I COME TO YOUR YELLING PARTY
— Abby Holidays (@abbycohenwl) June 13, 2015
Mama Bear: Ok but last time
Papa Bear: Thanks, babe
[she puts on a Goldilocks wig]
Mama Bear (falsetto): I can't sleep here! It's toooo hard
— Abby Holidays (@abbycohenwl) March 20, 2015
Are robots really not able to click those "I am not a robot" buttons? Then we got pretty weakass robots
— Abby Holidays (@abbycohenwl) October 4, 2017