Couples from time to time tend to go on this thing they call a “break,” and upon the announcement of the status of their relationship, everyone has something to say about it. It seems that going on a “break” can never really work and that if you are on a break – you are not together. This, however, is not the case, and the “break” stereotype needs to be broken.
I don’t care what anyone says, there is so much truth behind the “Sex And The City” series. In the first film, Miranda and Steve break up after he cheats on her but, that break up really just turned into a long break because, in the end, they end up getting back together. In the second film, Carrie and Big take a different break in their relationship, one where they spend some time living in different apartments and not together. The show and movies showcase that there are different types of “breaks,” and different reasons for them in every relationship. However, a majority of the time (if the love was real, to begin with) “breakups” don’t last very long making them just a break. Unless you hook up with someone else during the “break”, then it’s most definitely a break-up.
Breaks are sometimes really messy, but also, really necessary for some couples. It does not mean you are not together or you no longer love the person, but seriously, we all need some time to bring ourselves back to reality. There is always the question of what else is out there and could the grass really be greener on the other side? (It’s usually not). But, Steve Ward, CEO of Master Matchmakers explains that:
Breaks are initiated because of restlessness.
Breaks can completely turn out okay and actually make your relationship stronger if you do them the right way.
1. Be clear about what the break means for you and your partner.
Taking the first step to actually go on the break should be difficult. If it is not killing you inside to spend some time apart from your significant other, then that should be a sign you should just break up and end it here. Guidelines for the break should be put in place when you both discuss the break together. These should include how long the break will occur for if a set time is decided. You could agree to meet in the middle of the Brooklyn Bridge like Miranda and Steve did, or you can leave it completely up to fate. It also should be stated that hooking up with others is not permitted during the break. (Unless you are cool with that, but at that point, you should just break up, to be honest).
2. Don’t use this time apart to stalk your partner on social media or through mutual friends.
The point of a break is to self-reflect. If you spend all your time while on the break creeping on what your SO is using their time to do, you are not going to be benefitting yourself in any way. A break should be beneficial for yourself and the relationship. No cyberstalking allowed – as tempting as it may be. The purpose of the break is to have some space from your SO in order to regain your sense of self and see how life is like alone, without them, giving them space. If you are viewing their every move via social media you are not creating any space.
3. Use this time alone to regain your sense of self.
Although having a person to be with is such an amazing experience, it is possible to lose yourself when you are in a relationship for so long. This tends to lead to insecurity which can spark a ton of arguments that usually don’t occur – leading up to the need for a break. It is important to take a step back and asking yourself: “who am I again?” and “what is it that I really want?” This space can help you clear your mind and really focus on what’s important – you.
4. Find a new perspective.
Dating expert, Jasmine Diaz explained:
Relationships can be all-consuming, so sometimes what you need is separation to get perspective.
This plays a part in losing yourself like mentioned above. A great is a great time to prioritize your life, your values, wants, and needs. Odds are you have not prioritized yourself since being in the relationship. Once you have put into perspective again what your relationship really entails you will know if it is time to go back to it. This will also help you regain a new perspective on your relationship and what’s bothering you. Chances are, you had some problems in the relationship if you pushed to go on a break.