In your 20’s and 30’s, you’re going to go through a lot of changes and trials – it’s only natural. You’re growing up, you’re moving out, you’re falling in and out of love and you’re trying to find your place in this messed up place we call “the world.” Inevitably, you’re going to be faced with a lot of challenges that hit you in the face like a brick – they hurt, they’re painful and sometimes you have no idea how to deal with them. Recently, I’ve been going through most of these myself and, I’ve been dealing with them the absolute wrong way. Wrong, in the sense that the way in which I deal with them helps no one – especially myself.
My sister, who is way more experienced in life and chock-full of more wisdom than a fortune cookie, gave me some pretty solid advice after I ran to her apartment in tears over my latest f*ck up. After I had finally relaxed and vented my guts up, she told me about something called the “5×5 rule.”
If it’s not going to matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes upset about it.
Now, it may sound pretty cliché and “typical” for someone to give advice like this, and, it seems like a cheesy quote pulled from Pinterest (because it was), but, this rule is actually pretty damn effective if you apply it in the long run.
1. It will help you find perspective.
If you’re like me, you get emotional at the sight of a problem or argument in your life – with friends, family or relationships. I always get pretty upset in arguments with my boyfriend and my friends, so much so that it clouds my judgment and I act out. I say things I don’t mean, sometimes I do things I shouldn’t. If you think about the situation at hand and ask yourself “will this really matter to me later,” it can give you the perspective you need to chill out and just breathe.
2. There are better ways to handle things.
Instead of screaming or fighting with someone over something that may not be as big of a deal as you think, you can realize that this issue is something that can be easily worked out. Knowing it’s not a make-or-break problem can help you ease into a conversation, rather than having a blow-out fight.