The Biggest Problem Your Relationship Has Is Basically You

It’s easier to solve than you think.

When people are looking for love, they tend to search for someone who “completes them.” Someone who they can depend on, someone who they can confide in, someone who values them just as much as they value themselves.

It’s okay to fall in love, finding someone who fills parts of yourself that bring joy and happiness into your life. It’s okay to find your partner, someone who supports you and cheers you on, pushing you further to do better and be better in the world.

But, the biggest problem in relationships when it’s all said and done is the fact that people are out there looking for their “other half.” The notion that you, yourself, are half a person on your own is something that subconsciously ruins relationships before they even begin.

You’re allowed to love somebody and value them as a vital part of your life. It’s healthy to put someone you love above other things in your life. But, it’s not healthy to put that person above everything else in your life.

Being in a relationship with someone and being an independent person are two character traits that have become completely opposite and lost in modern day dating.

Far gone are the days where women and men can be completely themselves on their own, without their significant other, yet still know in their hearts they have someone special they truly love in their lives.

Instead, insecurity sets in when one party strays away, to live their life on their own. People often fear that when their significant other does their own thing, they will “lose interest,” or “find something better.”

Truthfully, being in a relationship where you are constantly attached at the hip is unhealthy and destined to fail.

You will no longer know who you are as a person without your significant other, and that’s a red flag.

But in reality, if you’re in a relationship where you fear these things – one of two things are true.

You are either not ready to be in a relationship, or, you are in a relationship with the wrong person.

When you are in the right relationship, with the right person, your significant other will make you feel comfortable being yourself. They will push you to be great with them, and without them as well – without fearing that one day, you may find someone better and leave. The best part about being your independent, bad-ass self and being with someone who appreciates it is that no matter what, you’ll still have someone to snuggle up to at night. And, even on those nights you do sleep alone, you’ll be a-okay, because you know that the love is real.

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Written by Lex Gabrielle

A writer and teacher from New York City who fully supports messy buns and 3+ cups of coffee a day.