Recently, there was a story that went viral online about plus-size model Natalie Hage and a rude passenger she had sat next to on a flight. According to the story, the man whom Natalie was seated next to on the flight was texting one of his buddies about the “discomfort” of sitting next to a bigger person on an airplane and, Natalie actually glanced over and saw him speaking ill of her and her weight – and she confronted him about it – feeling disrespected.
Many times, we don’t realize that people who weigh more, also feel uncomfortable and struggle while doing everyday things – such as traveling. If you hadn’t noticed before, train seats and plane seats are both made for people of slimmer figures and often times – do not help those of bigger body mass.
And, while people are constantly judging those of bigger size – you should really try and put yourself in their shoes before you start calling them names. One Twitter user @yrfatfriend summed up exactly what it meant to be a bigger person while traveling.
So, I'm on a plane today. Here's what I did to prepare to fly as a very fat person. (Thread.)
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I researched airlines for their "customer of size" policies, many of which reserve the right to kick me off the plane, even after boarding.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
The rest require purchase of a second seat. If I don't buy one in advance, I'll be charged the day-of price. Today, that's $800 one way.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I'm charged for that second seat regardless of whether one is available. I pay double for the privilege of staying on the plane.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
Even if I buy a second seat in advance, the airline may still sell it to another passenger. If they do, I won't be notified or refunded.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I bought a round trip first class ticket for this trip–about $900 more than a coach ticket, but on this flight–still less $ than 2 seats.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I brought my own seatbelt extender, so I wouldn't have to ask for one. Sometimes my extender is confiscated by the TSA. Today it wasn't.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I'm not worried about the embarrassment of asking for a seatbelt extender. I know I'm fat.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I'm worried that hearing me ask for an extender will prompt others to complain. If they do, it starts a domino effect of trouble for me.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
Passengers complaining to flight attendants will get me reseated, charged double, or escorted off the plane, stranded without a way home.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
Over the last 2 yrs, about 50% of passengers in my row complained about me. So, my body is regularly discussed in my presence w/o my input.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
Some policies don't include a refund or rebooking policy. So I could be out $1300 & still stranded. That's a risk I take every time I fly.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
And no matter what happens, if someone complains, my body will be discussed loudly, with open revulsion, without regard for who hears it.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
As a very fat person on a plane, I am treated like luggage–a cumbersome, exasperating inconvenience. Inanimate & unfeeling.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I also checked my bag so I wouldn't give any other passengers another reason to be irritated with me.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I bought a first class tickets bc they're a bit wider, but mostly because there are partitions between seats. So complaints are less likely.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
Although I bought a first class ticket, and despite being ~60 lbs smaller than I used to be, the tray table doesn't fit around me.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
Without a tray table, I can't work for the full six hours. I also won't be able to eat the first class meal that comes with the ticket.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I also won't request anything so the flight attendant doesn't have to reach over me, again prompting my seat mate to complain.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
So I'll sit silently, arms crossed, so I don't encroach on my neighbor's space.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
Today, I was lucky–I boarded & the flight took off without incident. I hope I'm so lucky on my return flight.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
No one likes flying. It's not comfortable for anyone. But for some of us, it's a major physical, financial & emotional risk.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
And this isn't about emotional fragility. I'm vulnerable, but I'm tough.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
This is about airline policies, and about what happens when others decide to make an issue of my body.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I was complained about for the first time about six years ago. I will never forget it. I was on an oversold flight, moved to a middle seat.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
The man sitting next to me became increasingly agitated. I said hello, asked how he was. He didn't respond.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
He got up several times to talk to a flight attendant, pointing angrily back at me. My stomach sunk as I realized what was happening.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
When he returned, he gathered his things and said sharply, "this is for your comfort. It'll be better for both of us."
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
The FA looked at him blankly and said "no it's not. Someone else will be sitting here."
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
He scowled at her, then me, then moved to his new seat–directly in front of me.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I spent the rest of the flight with my arms & legs crossed, humiliated and alone. No one spoke to me or made eye contact.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
The flight attendant didn't speak to me, but gave free food and drinks to the others in my row–rewards for tolerating my presence.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
No one said anything. No one interrupted him or reached out to me. I was invisible.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
At the end of the flight, as we filed into the aisle, the man who asked to be reseated spoke to me.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
"I wouldn't do that to someone who was pregnant or in a wheelchair," he said. "I know," I said. "That's what makes this so awful."
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I didn't fly for a year and a half after that. Refused travel for work, didn't see my family, only traveled where I could drive.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I fly now because I love my family, who live about a thousand miles away. I don't know what my life would be without my niece & nephew.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I fly because I value my job, & I'm good at it. & bc advancing my career means traveling. People bigger than me may not have that option.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I fly because my life is my own, and others' preconceptions of me & my body won't control it. But they can make it much, much harder.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
If you learned something from this thread/think others might, please RT. It would genuinely help if others knew where their complaints lead.
— your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
To me, this is heartbreaking and eye-opening. I myself, have never personally experienced this. However, I grew up with a father who was very much overweight and dealt with people’s stares and glares whenever we did anything together – from sitting down at a baseball game to swimming at the pool.
Society’s body standards and ways in which they body shame individuals needs to come to an end – everyone is different and every body is different. Discriminating someone based on their weight or looks is something that is both disgusting and uncalled for.
Be the change, people.