I worked at a store that sold “novelty” items. Our stores also had a large selection of toys and lingerie. One day we had a middle aged woman come in holding a plush rabbit wrapped up in a baby blanket. She was wearing a new Adidas track suit with a torn up robe over top of it. She came up to the counter and started telling us her husband owned the store, we were a corporation so obviously no single person owned our store. She walked back to the back and proceeded to pick out the largest vibrator we had, and wrapped it up in little baby bundle. My manager at the time saw this and walked to the front of the store to stop her while she was on her way out. We had a lot of theft and most of the time if we could just recover the merchandise we would let them go. She stopped her and asked for it back and the woman starts screaming about how her husband said it was okay to come in and take it, and that she needs that vibe to get her baby back. She told us her husband and his new mistress stole her eggs and made a child with them, and they needed that vibrator or else they wouldn’t give the baby back. Needless to say we ended up having to call the cops and it was a big ordeal. When they arrested her and took her rabbit she mediately started crying and screaming they were taking her baby away and she would get us all because she knew what we were trying to do and because we supported the legalization of marijuana. We had a lot of things with pot plants on them in our store.
7. kimchiandrice :
I was working the night shift at a adult store in the 90’s. A rather large woman walks in and goes straight for the dildos and vibrators. We had samples glued to the wall for folks to feel and size up. We had a pretty wide variety, some of them rather large. After fondling the large size dildos with names like “BAM” and “BIG Haus” she comes up to the counter and asks rather politely if we had anything bigger. Internally, I’m like WHAT THE ACTUAL F–K, some of those things are as big or bigger than a babies head. I then sudden remember the “Mr. Big Head” we have in the back. A toy we had had on the wall for about a year and never even had a sniff at. We were about to send it back for a refund. This thing was insane. Like the rim of a Big Gulp cup big. I hand it to her. She slaps this massive vaguely dick shaped lump of plastic and silicone in her hand a couple of times….then smiles and giggles a bit. She says and I will never forget this, “Yeah….this will do great.” She then hands me like three hundred bucks and walks out. I swear she had a spring in her step.
One afternoon I saw a fistfight in an adult cinema.
My local porno store had a small cinema out the back. I was a little drunk so I paid my five bucks and in I went.
The place reeked of cum and disinfectant.
I walked in right as the fight was breaking out.
A couple in their mid 40’s had decided to fuck in the cinema. When all the dudes in the cinema gathered round to watch, the husband didn’t like the close attention.
He started shoving the nearest guy and they threw a few punches at each other as his wife yelled at them.
The guy behind the counter came in and calmed things down.
The couple left, and one of the peep show girls told the husband off: “If you fuck in an adult cinema OF COURSE people are gonna want to watch!”.
The funniest part though, one guy in the cinema didn’t stop beating off throughout the whole ordeal lol.
Not me but someone I knew who worked at a sex shop. One day a lady came in and asked to see the Ben Wa Balls (basically metal balls that you put up the vagina). They were in a counter and so he put them on top of the counter, she throws her leg up and puts one right in.
It was about 430am, I was tired.I tilted my chair back and rested my head on the shelves. I would just rest my eyes a bit. No, of course I wouldn’t sleep. There was no one in the store. Just when I started to drift off to dream land,I hear a loud BANG! My mind is trying to think of what could have made that huge noise, I open my eyes to see every dildo in the store FLYING IN THE AIR! So, a pick up truck had slid through the intersection and slammed into the outside wall of the shop, the wall on which racks and racks of dildos. I have never been more befuddles than in the first seconds after I opened my eyes. That’s my favorite story. There are far many more gross ones.