I had a roommate in college who had a thing for making love to very, very large women. He had a room on the ground floor off of living room where we would all hang out. He was too embarrassed to admit his preferences in women, so he would force his hookups to exit through his window.
Only problem is our house was L-shaped, and his window was visible from the living room. So on numerous occasions we got to watch large women fall out of his window.
He thought I had left.
Pulls out penis to Masturbate, and imitates MLK “Free at last, Free at LAST!”
Never told him. So, nowadays I say “Free at last!” at random times when referring to masturbating and I just see this look of fear.
“Does he know?”
Yes, Tyler. I know.
I used to live with what I’ve decided was one of the most disgusting couples ever.
We lived in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath apartment. They would use my dishes and leave them in their room, unwashed, usually with food in them. They didn’t want to buy a litter box for their cat so they took a plastic gallon tub and just dumped litter in it. Their cat constantly peed in their closet on their shoes and they’d just continue wearing them.
But the worst: When we moved out, I had to clean everything or I knew we wouldn’t get our deposit back. They had cleaned out most of their things and I let them know I was going to clean their room. They said cool (they were never going to do it), so I go in, armed with gloves, a scarf covering my mouth, and a bottle of bleach. Boy was I unprepared.
I walk in and this stench just hits me. Their bedroom door was always closed and they always had incense burning so I never smelled it. They had a couple cardboard boxes filled with poop and toilet paper. I ran out of there so fast and called them, screaming and demanding to know what was going on. They said sometimes I would be in the bathroom and instead of knock or hold their bladder, they would crap in boxes. They tried to play it off as “we take it out once a week” like it was changing the litter box.