I once walked out of my room and found him lying on the kitchen floor. I asked if he was alright cos I thought maybe he’d slipped or something but he said nope, just wanted to dirty himself before having a shower… proceeded to make floor angels and lay there for another good 15 mins or so.
Three of my friends all shared a house together and one day I pop over with one of them after we had been out and about doing some shit. The front door had the chain on so we went round the back and went in and their was our other friend naked, wanking, stood up, in the kitchen, with his laptop on an ironing board.
He just went “oh fuck” and we walked back out and went to the pub near by. He joined us twenty minutes later for a pint and tried to act like nothing had happened.
I came out around 1 am to go to the bathroom and heard a weird rustling in the kitchen. I turned the corner and found my roommate sleeping in our sink.