I'd rather die than make two trips carrying in groceries! pic.twitter.com/LuNXXJJ5nD
— I, Joseph (@HoJoLego) January 17, 2017
adulthood is emailing "sorry for the delayed response!" back and forth until one of you dies
— Marissa Miller Kovac (@Marissa__Miller) February 26, 2016
i should do my homework but that’s exactly what the government wants and i cannot let them win
— no (@tbhjuststop) September 25, 2013
my wife and i can’t agree on where to eat so this time we’re going to her favorite restaurant then next time we’ll go to her other favorite restaurant
— eric (@ericsshadow) January 3, 2018
Person: Would you like to eat 6 string cheeses in a row?
Person: We deep fried em and there will be tomato sauce.
Me: Oh, ok, yes.
— Shantira Jackson (@tira_son) April 19, 2017