Come on, we know it was you:
Farting… MY husband thinks he is slick and does those silent but deadly farts. The smell kills me
Maybe try to look at our eyes during convos:
Look at my boobs, even when they are covered up. You tend to see them loose eye contact and get mesmerized, it’s rather funny
Checking women out. I can see your entire head turning, dude.
How hard they’re trying to impress me right now only to completely ignore me once I’ve fallen madly in love. I’m onto you guys.
When they offer to let me go up the stairs first so they can look at my ass. I don’t mind, I take it as a compliment.