21. u/buddhapipe won in the end IMO:
His ex told him she was pregnant to force him to get back together. About a week later he learned that she lied about the pregnancy, but decided to stay with her anyway. Really changed my perspective on him.
Edit: We weren’t together. I just had a crush on him.
22. This is the best humblebrag/worst story ever. The edit is really good though:
The guy I was talking to said something along the lines of “I’m really good at fingering girls. I know this because I have hemorrhoids and I have to finger myself in the ass every day to apply my ass cream”.
Edit: I had been talking to this guy for two months and he felt it was time for me to really get to know him. This comment was out of the blue and said in a serious tone, reddit I kid you not he was not joking around. I quickly and thankfully learned that the real him was just too much (he saw me as being “the one” after 3 weeks of not really even knowing one another, dude was super desperate) and I got the heck out of there. Had we been together for a while and it was a joke, sure that would be funny, but this guy was dead serious. I still deal with him whining about me leaving him after he confided everything in me only two months into knowing one another, but at least my vag wasn’t fingered like an asshole with hemorrhoids
23. Ok, u/damackisback just dropped the mic on ’em:
She was racist. I am not. We had sex. I then told her I was half black.
I did it for my people.
24. I guess u/bw790 just doesn’t know little kids just play with whatever stuff is around:
I have a friend that I always thought was attractive. We were at his sister’s place one day and I had mentioned something about how my nephew (he was 6 at the time) likes to play with dolls (my sister and I are reasonably certain my nephew will turn out to be gay based on many things and none of us care).
My friend was going on about that being really weird and wrong. His sister pointed out that her son used to play with dolls when he was 3-5 as he had a lot of female friends and cousins.
My friend’s response was: ” Yeah, but at least he has the decency to be embarrassed about it”
His ignorance was an instant turn off.
25. Whoever Dbag was in u/snatchpastry‘s story, I hope he never finds love:
He was really rude and condescending to a mentally handicapped bag boy. I tried to overcompensate by being extremely nice and gracious to the bagger but I just could not contain my anger at this guy that I had only moments before been totally head over heels for. I was so disgusted.
I drove us to that grocery store.
I left him at that grocery store.
To address what was said by the Romeo turned douchebag:
This feels like a lifetime ago so pulling from memory the best I can. I remember as we approached the counter him eyeballing the guy like he had 3 heads. After asking paper or plastic, douchebag answered in a slow over enunciated way. My whole body cringed. The bagger attempted to make small talk – my memories don’t include the dialogue at this point – I can only recall Dbags stupid face and the way he looked while responding to the guy – just over enunciating, his eyes wide, head shaking, eyes rolling. I placed myself between the two and started asking the bagger questions about his day, thanking him for how careful he was being with my fruit, and asking him about his plans for the weekend. All the while dbag stands there exaggerating with his body language that this is taking too long. I wished the bagger well and he offered to help us out with our bags and Dbag acted all offended saying he could handle it in a really assholish tone.
As soon as we stepped out the door I asked him what the hell his problem was. He said something along the lines as “people like him don’t belong in jobs that require direct contact with the public”. This is another moment I can’t really recall the dialogue – just anger and the look on his face like he just couldn’t believe we weren’t on the same page. I remember snatching a couple bags out of the cart and thrusting them towards him, he took them, and I told him not to follow me to my car. He followed me. He stood behind me telling me that I should go back in there and get my new boyfriend to take home with me as I loaded my groceries in the trunk. I just got in my car and drove away.
It was a busy city. Plenty of public transportation and cabs and he had a cell phone so he wasn’t completely stranded though he deserved to be.
He looked like an idiot standing there alone in the parking lot holding his bags.
Thank you all for (well almost all) being as upset about this as I was. It still shocks me to think about how surprised he seemed to be that I didn’t feel and react the same way as he did.