This Former Starbucks Barista Is Posting The Grossest Drinks People Have Ever Ordered From Him

Starbucks is a wonderful, delicious and over-priced foreign land for coffee lovers everywhere. Every time I walk into one, I feel like I’m going to another country where they speak an entirely different language and they’re just trying to force me to buy bullsh*t – like, reusable cups I’ll never want to wash and flavored coffee I’ll never brew at home. When you finally get to the front of the line, baristas are talking gibberish at lightning speed and seem as though they’re the most knowledgeable people in the entire world. No matter how anyone orders, they know exactly what they’re saying. Venti non-fat, mocha, double drip, hot latte with extra foam? No problem. Grande soy caramel macchiato with whip? You got it. Just, don’t ask them to spell your name right.

At the end of the day, although I’m anti-spending 10$ on my coffee, I am pro-baristas who have to deal with our complicated ass orders all of the time. Think about how many people enter a Starbucks on a daily basis and order some ridiculous beverages? It’s got to be painful to handle it all. No wonder they spell our names wrong, they’re busy listening to the number of pumps of whatever you want in your drink – ya know?

Recently, a barista who gave his two weeks at his “nightmare of a job” decided to share the worst orders he’s ever created for Starbucks customers on his Tumblr page and it makes me question everyone in America.

First of all –

12 sugars? Are you looking for early signs of diabetes?

Second of all –

18 pumps of SYRUP? This is no longer tea and instead, a cup of liquified syrup.

Also –

What’s the point of getting decaf if the amount of sugar in your 10 pumps of Raspberry syrup is enough to put you into a coma?

I guess I’m being high-key judgmental because I drink my coffee black – like it should be, but, I also felt my heart sink and a weird, uncomfortable knot form in my stomach, make it’s way up my throat and into my mouth when I read this particular order. Yeah, I almost vomited.

Dude. Besides the fact that I feel as though someone might actually go into cardiac arrest over 14 shots of anything – can we just sit on the fact that this customer asked for 20 pumps of pumpkin sauce – yet asked to hold the whipped cream? Like, hey, give me 10000mg of sugar but I’m on a diet so hold back on .0005mg. Thanks!

You people are gross. So, so gross. You don’t deserve to drink coffee. You deserve a free gym membership.