me: So, do you like street magic?
her: Not really
me: [releases 7 doves under table] Haha yeah me either
— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) October 2, 2015
pizza won't divorce you
pizza won't betray you
pizza won't cheat on you
pizza won't fight with you
why don't people just marry pizza
— 9GAG (@9GAG) October 11, 2015
'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
— Sasshole (@RidiculousSheri) May 26, 2014
— Single Probs (@singleprob) February 17, 2014
??? URGENT ???
since valentines day is approaching and im still single, im going to say it, valentines day is the product of capitalism and “love” isn’t real everything dies especially love dont subscribe to it keep your orifices closed
— jovan (@ehjovan) February 11, 2018
So I’m @ the bank waiting in line & the guy in front of me is spitting game to the teller, she’s laughing & he’s attractive so I can tell she’s digging it, he asks her if he can take her out and she says “with what? The whole $11.96 you got in your account?” SON, my chest ?
— B. (@Ticklemelili) January 26, 2018
Sometimes I think 'maybe I should go out and meet people' and then I remember I don't really like people or leaving my house. #whyimsingle
— Tammy Watson (@Tamashay) February 9, 2017
Can’t wait for Instagram to remind me how single I am by showing Valentines Day posts 4 days in a row
— Tony (@tonyament) February 7, 2018
If you’re dreading being single on Valentines Day.. just remember you are single every other day too
— Morgan Pederson (@morganpederson) February 5, 2018