Every year, February 1st rolls around and boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives and all the in-betweens start panicking about finding the funds to afford overpriced candy, overpriced flowers and overpriced dinners to please their partner on Valentine’s Day. As if there’s only one day out of the 365 days a year that you should spoil your loved one. Hard pass. I’m not a huge fan of the “holiday” nor do I splurge to celebrate. That’s why I found all of these tweets 10x funnier because I’m not about to fall into the stereotypical female who needs 100 things to feel loved. Hard Pass.
Happy Valentine's Day Eve! I just want everyone to know that one time in college I tried to search for my crush on Facebook, accidentally made his name my status, and then my phone died.
— Lauren Duca (@laurenduca) February 13, 2018
Is today Valentine’s Day or tomorrow? It doesn’t matter I’ll be sick both days.
— King Bach (@KingBach) February 13, 2018
News reports say, nearly $20,000,000,000 is being spent (mostly by men) this Valentine’s Day. ?
— BEN BALLER™ (@BENBALLER) February 13, 2018
Valentine's Day is dumb unless somebody does something sweet for me and in that case I love it, it is the best holiday in the universe, so fun and great.
— Summer Cannibals (@SCannibalsBand) February 13, 2018
I am so excited for Valentine's Day bc I work and I'm gonna tell all my customers that my "boyfriend dumped me" so I "decided to cover another girl's shift" and I'm gonna get so many pity tips
— ellie (@holy_schnitt) February 13, 2018
you don't have to be sad about being alone on Valentine's Day if you remember you're alone all the other days too pic.twitter.com/UyEPe7lI5Q
— d? (@youngoddesss) February 5, 2017
Can't wait for Valentines Day. I'm gonna run into as many restaurants as I can shouting "Knew I'd find you here! You bastard" then run out.
— Ruthe Repeal Phoenix (@RuthePhoenix) January 24, 2015
Joke's on you, people trying to make me feel bad about Valentine's Day — I feel bad every day
— the hippo account (@InternetHippo) February 2, 2015
Valentine's Day is a 'side chick' worst nightmare.
— Untouchable ??♂️? (@stickn2dabasics) February 13, 2018
Anyone who tells me Happy Valentine’s Day, tomorrow is getting a shriveled penis in their inbox.
This isn’t a joke.
— ✭Sugar Tits✭ (@CardsNCowboyz) February 13, 2018