This week is one of those weeks that feels longer than any other—partly because of daylight savings time, but partly because there’s been so much bullsh*t has been going on. What we all need, of course, is some humor to break up all of the horrible news. Who doesn’t love some hilarious tweets about how awful our lives are and how unhappy everyone is? Three cheers for self-depreciation.
1.
is my boyfriend broken pic.twitter.com/StJBDXsG4D
— k (@karleemma) March 13, 2019
2.
Lori Loughlin: please my daughter she’s very dumb pic.twitter.com/RTO6XE4Flo
— Tabir Akhter (@tabir) March 13, 2019
3.
— flakka. (@Spencee_daddy) March 12, 2019
4.
My husband just bought ice cream with raisins. So, that was a fun marriage.
— smerobin (@smerobin) March 12, 2019
5.
Being an adult sucks because nobody makes you take a nap and you no longer get a prize if you eat all your food you just get fat.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) March 14, 2019
6.
my brother got a pikachu suit and my dog attacked him pic.twitter.com/QLZJeaLQgC
— emily quinn (@xmxlyq) March 7, 2019
7.
I forgot the word for manicure and asked my mom how her handjob was
— Tank.Sinatra (@GeorgeResch) March 10, 2019
8.
me trying to explain 2019 to my grandchildren pic.twitter.com/IpnphDHKDK
— Ellie Sunakawa (@elliesunakawa) March 11, 2019
9.
When I’m playing Uno and someone uses a “draw 4” pic.twitter.com/UM9KonriLv
— Jake Berg (@itsjakeberg) March 9, 2019
10.
When the teacher walks up to you during an exam and looks at your paper then shouts out “guys please make sure you read the questions carefully” pic.twitter.com/QhAJj97nYQ
— zander (@alezander) March 14, 2019
11.
De-boned chicken with breadcrumb crust and tomato reduction. pic.twitter.com/Iq7sWLEN6v
— Scotty Sorayama (@BasedLaRock) March 12, 2019
12.
I wonder what all the IG models are doing today on their off day
— Gabriel Zamora (@gabrielzamora) March 13, 2019
13.
me when picking an outfit pic.twitter.com/6QyEo0Ffn9
— QUEEN J ? (@josslynnn_) March 14, 2019
14.
sharpay was right: this is not what i want. this is not what i planned. and i just gotta say. I do not understand.
— ☽ (@LIPGLOSSEDCUNT) March 13, 2019
15.
Thotiana billy madison edition is fried??♂️ pic.twitter.com/1XeCUc3YHd
— Sam Schmelzle (@SamSchmelzle) March 11, 2019
16.
Cap: “Whatever it takes”
Hawkeye: “Whatever it takes”
Black Widow: “Whatever it takes”
Iron Man: “Whatever it takes”
Me, lying in my bed half awake: “Whatever it takes”— Adrian R. (@adroidirl) March 14, 2019
17.
The worst 4 loko flavor is when u are loko 4 someone but they aren’t loko 4 u :/
— IG @ itssdarwinn (@itssdarwinn) March 13, 2019
18.
For the last FUCKING TIME, the answer is ALWAYS YES pic.twitter.com/DDBiTrRr6P
— Adam Ellis (@moby_dickhead) March 11, 2019
19.
[Lori Loughlin trial]
JUDGE: Does the defence have any witnesses?
LAWYER: We'd like to call Jesse Katsopolis
JUDGE: Isn't he a fictional character?
LAWYER: Yes, your honor
JUDGE: Is he just gonna act hunky and say, "Have Mercy"?
LAWYER: Yes, your honor
JUDGE: I'll allow it
— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) March 14, 2019
20.
mercury REALLY IS in Powerade this week wõöoōôw
— La Bronze James (@jackieaina) March 14, 2019
21.
I need a girl who I can have intelligent conversations with. Thoughtiana.
— u need to change…. v2 (@finesse_ur_mom) March 13, 2019
22.
*my boyfriend staring at me*
me: what dumbass? wanna fight? pic.twitter.com/k2hTXnZ2yA
— ℳ ♕ (@heyitsriss_) March 8, 2019
23.
get in loser we’re going to cognitive behavioral therapy
— kate (@kaiteasley) March 4, 2019
24.
all 6 of my brain cells assembling so I can spell necessary pic.twitter.com/EmiAV5OMV6
— khaled (@localnim0) March 5, 2019
25.
your mcm thinks (a + b)² expands to a² + b². do better sis
— ? (@yungsids) March 8, 2019
26.
12 year old me standing at my moms doorway at 5 am to tell her I threw up pic.twitter.com/DPQnWU190A
— Noel ??? (@NoelSznn) March 8, 2019
27.
summoning circle, hope this works
?
? ?
? ?
A cure
? For being clums- ?? Ah shit ?
Ah no ? ?
? ? ? Oh no oh no
? ? ? ? ?— Ryan Vance (@ryanjjvance) March 6, 2019
28.
every time someone from my high school unfollows me, I level up
— talliesin young (@thomasjeferstan) March 6, 2019
29.
A guy named billy asked if he could buy me a drink and when I asked if “billy” was short for “billiard” HE STRAIGHT UP WALKED AWAY ladies I have cracked the code
— Asia (@AsiaDNYC) March 6, 2019
30.
Once I Say " Oh" Or "K" Or " Mhmm" My Attitude Is Now Activated ???♀️
— IG: juliannavivas (@juliannarvivas) March 14, 2019