With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, it’s hard to get excited when you’re single as a Pringle (never understood that saying seeing as Pringles come in a can with dozens of other chips). Anyway, if you’re single, there’s usually not much to look forward to in terms of romance–unless you count the half priced chocolate you can buy the day after. Oh, and getting the entire bed to yourself. Bless up.
him: your single? why?
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) May 3, 2015
fall is the perfect time to date someone like it’s chilly so u both get bundled up & watch movies and go for coffee dates omg i'm so lonely
— FREDDY (@FreddyAmazin) October 12, 2015
Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day I will meet someone who will hate them with me.
— Robin McCauley Lynch (@RobinMcCauley) March 5, 2014
Dr: what are you using for birth control?
Me: Just who I am as a person
— Donna Thorpe (@DottyThorpe) August 14, 2017
Can't wait for Valentines Day. I'm gonna run into as many restaurants as I can shouting "Knew I'd find you here! You bastard" then run out.
— Ruthe Repeal Phoenix (@RuthePhoenix) January 24, 2015
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats
— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) September 3, 2015
*gets into a relationship*
This is bad
Hmm this is bad too
*looks in a mirror*
Oh I see the problem now
— the hippo account (@InternetHippo) May 26, 2015
9 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
— Peter Smithson (@P_Smithson) February 14, 2015
Someone asked me if I'm ever scared that I'll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my dog was RIGHT THERE.
— Pin Up Teacher (@pinupteacher) December 7, 2014
Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.
— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) May 6, 2014