We all know that children can say some pretty wild stuff but sometimes what they have to say is strangely logical. Some of the questions they ask will even stump you and have you wondering why we do certain things. That’s the beauty of a young mind it hasn’t been on earth long enough to be ruined by all of us. We rounded up some of the best kid logic adults have ever heard from Reddit, and it’s pretty hilarious how enlightened some of these little ones are. It’s almost refreshing to get a small child’s take on the world because they’re not caught up with all the garbage that is the world we live in every day. These 32 cases of the best kid logic adults have ever heard will prove it’s a kids world and we’re just living in it.
1. You can’t disappoint the lord.
Kid: Does God live everywhere? Even in my stomach?
Adult: Uh..I guess God exists in your stomach, sure.
Kid: God wants a banana.
2. That’s a million dollar idea right there.
My daughter told me she should have a princess bed because I have a queen.
3. Kids really know what’s essential like ‘Tangled.’
My dad once answered the door to two little girls from the neighborhood (probably about 8 and 9 years old) and they were breathing really heavy.
Girl, clearly panicking: Ummm, ummmm, have you seen Tangled??
My dad: …nooo?
Girl, pauses as she processes this new development: well, there’s a part where they have these paper lanterns that fly and there’s one in your tree and IT’S ON FIRE
Luckily it had already gone out and caused zero damage, but I still laugh at the fact that their opening line was “Tangled” and not “FIRE”
4. It’s complicated but I’m sure he’ll figure it out.
My brother learned about MLK recently. He doesn’t understand race though. He has light skin so he assumes that means he’s white. My dad has dark skin so he assumes my dad is black. We’re Mexican.
5. Don’t you hate when you get stumped by a child?
Kid: When I grow up I’m going to marry Mommy.
His Mom: You can’t marry mommy because you can’t marry a family member.
Kid: (thinking) Then how did you marry Daddy?
6. Everyone wants someone to believe in them even vampires.
While discussing Hotel Transylvania, kid says “I know vampires aren’t real but if they are real won’t they get mad if I don’t believe in them?”
7. Just wait until somebody tells him about Santa Claus.
When my son was about 4 the neighbor kid told him, “Your mom hides the Easter eggs, stupid.” My son was thrilled and bragged to all the kids at preschool, “My mom is the Easter Bunny and she’s going to bring you a bunch of candy!”
8. She always wanted a dog and now she has one.
My ex’s daughter found a stray cat and was so excited to show it off. One of my friends came over and she said, “Look at my new dog! She’s a cat!
9. “BOOBS!”
I overheard some kids playing while I was on my porch one night. There were a group of 3 kids playing together, when a fourth kid approached them and asked “can I play with you guys?”
The group of kids eye each other before one kid steps forward and logically proclaims “you can only play with us if you swear!”
The new kid smiles and yells “BOOBS” at the top of his lungs and then they all commenced playing together. I was crying from laughing so hard.
10. I’m waiting to find my wolf hookup.
For context: I used to live in a primarily black neighborhood and was one of only a handful of white people in the area.
I’m out walking my roommate’s husky/malamute cross (who resembles nothing so much as a Direwolf) when I see two boys about 6-7 playing in a fenced in yard across the street from me. I wave. They immediately stop playing and run over to the fence.
Kid 1: THATS A WOLF!! LOOK! SHES GOT A WOLF!
Kid 2: where’d she even get one??
Kid 1 looks at him with what I can only describe as complete disdain in his expression. He’s clearly disappointed that his friend could be so stupid. In a tone that was dripping with condescension, he goes, “She’s -white-. They got the hookup on wolves.”