Guilty Parents Admit The Outright Lies They’ve Told Their Children

Groundhog Easter Day?

My father told me (and my Catholic cousin) that Easter was the day that Jesus rolled back the rock, and if he saw his shadow we’d have six more weeks of winter. My aunt was beyond pissed when my cousin broke that out at her first communion.

sunnynorth

Calamari is What?!?

My parents got me to eat calamari by telling me they were Italian onion rings.

iamnos

Watermelon Whine

I was told swallowing watermelon seeds would grow in my stomach.
I had a very nerve-wracking couple of months waiting.

bNoaht