26. Imagine how good he’d be at tying his shoes and coloring in the lines?
My son was born on February 29th. – the woman asked me if he would need to have 5 actual birthdays before he could start kindergarten, or if he could still go when he was 5 years old.
27. Well, he kind of does….
“Stephen Hawking is British? But he doesn’t have an accent.”
28. I don’t even know what I just read…
“I usually get allergies at around this time of day when the particles released from those streaks in the sky hit ground level.”
29. Wait, so my fish don’t converse when I’m gone?
That the water in Finding Nemo looks realistic but is actually CGI. No shit Sherlock, the whole movie is.
30. If only the world worked this way…
Behind 2 girls in line for a frozen yogurt:
“Well, if I eat this now, then eat a plum when I get home, it should cancel out the calories.”