11. She must have felt so powerful until she realized.
Buddy’s girlfriend, sitting next to us on the couch the morning after a night out drinking. We’re all kinda tired just watching tv, but decided to get food. We were watching football and paused the DVR, and she absolutely, in 100% seriousness asked:
“Hey, that doesn’t seem right, doesn’t that stop it for everyone?”
Everyone speechless
12. You really should talk to Mother Nature about that horrible noise.
Working in retail a customer came up to me and said in a very angry tone, “What is that noise? You need to tell your manager to fix whatever that is” That’s rain, it’s raining outside lady.
13. She must have missed the Archimedes principles lesson…
This happened last night at the bar I work at. I get a ticket for two Chardonnay; one with ice. allllllright, one with ice, one as it’s supposed to be. There we go.
Three minutes later in storms this lady with two wine glasses in her hand. “Look at this,” she says and somewhat slams the glasses onto the bar. I am a little in shock that the glasses didn’t break and did as told, I looked at the glasses. “Yes… one Chardonnay with ice, one without. What’s the matter, Ma’am?” I ask. “Why did she get more wine?!” she asks annoyed. “More wine?” I ask. “There’s not more on either one. Both have 120ml exactly, right as it’s supposed to be. Would you like some ice too?”. “But THAT one is fuller!” and she points at the one with ice. “Yes, it has ice in it,” I reply. “Why does she get more wine with the ice? Why don’t I get more wine?! Look, this one has that much more wine!” showing the difference between the glasses by pinching her fingers.
Well, you get where this is going. The lady didn’t understand that if you fill two glasses of wine and add ice into one, the ice will make it look like its fuller, but that’s just because the ice takes up space. I had to literally show her that it was just the ice making it LOOK like the glass is fuller (which it of course was, but not with more wine). Even then I think she still thought she was being mistreated.
14. Sass Awrful, Boobasnot. (Simlish for that’s awful I don’t like you.)
I had a friend who worked at GameStop. Once a woman returned The Sims 3 because “The game was broken. They only speak in Spanish.”
15. She needs some Korean Jesus ASAP.
While working at my first library job, there was a young college girl (I’m guessing a freshman) who came to the public library for some books for class. She seems to be doing fine, so I leave her alone until she repeatedly makes very frustrated noises. I offer to help.
Me: can I help you find something?
Her: I need the Korean Bible.
Me: the Bible, in Korean?
Her: yes.
Me: we might have that in the international collection. Follow me.
(I go to said collection and do not find the Bible in Korean. I offer her the Bible in other languages or a novel in Korean. On seeing the text of the Korean novel, she looks very confused.).
Her: no, this isn’t it, I need The Korean Bible.
Me: right, so, you specifically need the Bible, written in the Korean language?
Her: No! I need The Korean Bible! It’s like the Bible, but it’s in Arab!
Me, trying not to face-palm:… Do you perhaps mean the Qur’an?This was also the job where my 60-year-old boss asked me what “pitcher” and “catcher” meant on a gay blog she happened upon. And when I explained, she very cheerily walked away, saying, “Well, ’tis better to give than receive!”