6. I mean it is super wrong but kind of adorable.
My daughter came home from school and told me she’s her Spanish teacher’s favorite student. I asked her to elaborate – my daughter said she is the only one who ever actually talks Spanish to the teacher.
At the end of class when the bell rings, Señora Ruiz always says, “Adios!” and I say, “Sayonara!” Then she laughs and says, “You’re my favorite.”
7. She does have a point. It doesn’t even breathe. Smoke em if you get em amirite?
“I don’t know why they make a big deal about smoking while pregnant. The baby doesn’t even breathe when it’s in your belly.” Pregnant girl smoking outside my pub.
8. How do you think she describes Oreos?
Customer “Hey what are these black things on my sushi rolls?”
Server “Uh… I don’t know.. ill ask the kitchen…”
I hear the kitchen staff say,”black sesame seeds..?”
The server goes back to the table, and I guess not wanting to appear racist tells the customer,”those are African American sesame seeds.”
9. How can you argue with scientific facts?
“Humans evolved from fish, so it’s actually more than likely that mermaids exist.”
10. PSA mustard gas and chemtrails in the bloodstream are not good.
While working, a customer asks where the fresh juices are. So I point her to the correct part of the menu and she starts shaking her head and says with complete seriousness “That should be illegal” I ask her what she means and she tells me that mixing fruits and vegetables will create a bunch of nasty toxins in your body, it would be fine for her to drink because SHE regularly detoxes but that could be some serious bad news for “someone like you” so I make an attempt to casually debunk any strange internet article she’s read by asking her what toxins she means and without skipping a beat she says “it puts mustard gas and chem trails into your blood stream” completely flabbergasted I let her just order and she gets a drink with cucumber and spinach ._.