7 Things Every Girl Needs To Do Before Settling Down In A Relationship

As we get older, we start to look for “the one.” We see all of our friends on social media finding their soulmates, getting engaged, getting married, having babies – it freaks us the f*ck out. We start to go into hyper overdrive wondering when our time will come and then, we find someone and lock them in for all of eternity – probably before we’re even ready. There are a lot of milestones, accomplishment and even experiences every woman should have before they settle down in a serious, life-long relationship with someone. It’s always important to remember that everyone has a different life journey. Okay, so that sounds totally cliché and Hallmark card-y, but it’s actually true. Just because your friends are all 27 and getting engaged, doesn’t mean it’s not okay to wait until you’re 31 for your time. Just because your friends are all getting pregnant at 31 doesn’t mean you can’t get knocked up at 34. Time is a concept that humans created – remember that.

1. Figure out your career and passion.

Sometimes in life, we’re not exactly sure where we want to be or where we’re going when it comes to our career. Trust me, you’re not the only person who graduated from college with a degree and now you spend 99.9% of your day applying to jobs and getting no responses back. It f*cking happens – the job market is so saturated with applicants, it’s hard to even get an interview most places. Don’t feel discouraged. It takes a lot of time to find a career and a job you’re satisfied in (never settle for a job you hate). While you’re trying to navigate this sphere, it’s not the greatest time to be settling down with someone serious. I think it’s vital that a woman has her life in order and is happy in her own world before she begins to get serious with someone in a romantic relationship. If you’re not sure of your own career, it will spill over into your relationship in multiple ways.

2. Travel on your own.

Going on romantic trips and travelling with your significant other is exciting and fun, but there’s nothing like travelling somewhere on your own. I’m not talking about with a friend or with your family – I’m talking about studying abroad by yourself or going somewhere totally solo. This may seem scary and something you would never do, and it doesn’t have to be out of the country. Even if you go on a road trip by yourself, going away and experiencing a brand new place by yourself teaches you a lot about youYou need to know exactly who you are before you dive into something serious with someone else and doing this is the perfect way to discover your favorite parts about yourself and even learn new things you would have never even known.

3. Move out.

Living with your parents is the same thing as a bird before it begins to fly – it’s sheltered and babied. Then, it learns to fly and completely gains independence. Living with your parents is great when you’re young and even when you’re just starting out in life. But, you need to experience life as an independent person. Even if it’s by going away to college and dorming or living off-campus, it’s vital to experience life without your safety net. If not, you’re always going to become accustomed to relying on someone else for your needs. It will then transfer over into your relationship, where instead of your parents, you rely on your partner for your needs. Living on your own teaches you more than just buying your own groceries and paying rent. It’s a lot of responsibility and sheer independence you need.

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Written by Lex Gabrielle

A writer and teacher from New York City who fully supports messy buns and 3+ cups of coffee a day.