What do you think of when you hear the word “soulmate?”
Do you think of happily ever afters like Cinderella and every other Disney movie with a prince charming? Do you think of walking down the aisle with your husband in tears when he sees you? Do you think of adorable nick-names and home-cooked meals? Do you think of flowers on your bedside “just because?”
For the most part, being in love with your soulmate can be spectacular. But, it’s not all sunshine and happiness all of the time. Society makes us believe that unless your love is perfect – it’s not “your forever love.” They tell us that at the slightest hint of problems, you’re probably not with “the one.”
I’m here to tell you that’s basically a load of bullsh*t. In fact, it’s absolute bullsh*t.
Most days – being with your soulmate isn’t a walk on the beach. Actually, it hardly ever is.
Being with your soulmate means that you’re going to hate each other some days. You’re going to get on each other’s nerves – especially when you live together. Sometimes, they’re going to yell at you when you’re under a f*ck-ton of pressure from work and you’ll blow up on them and then – World War III commences in your tiny, one-bedroom apartment.
Being with your soulmate means that you’re going to want space after a fight. You’re not going to apologize right away because – we’re all stubborn. You’re going to stomp around the house and slam doors and go get drunk with your girlfriends and then text them about how you hate them but love them but hate them and come home to have sloppy, drunk sex and wake up ordering breakfast like nothing ever happened because – you’re over it.
Being with your soulmate means that you have to learn to love the family that hates you. Not every family is perfect and not every soulmate’s family will loveeeeee you the way they do. You have to grow to put aside your hatred/differences/anger/pettiness and grow the f*ck up.
Being with your soulmate means that you have to like their crappy friends. Some of them are creepy. Some of them are horrible influences. Some of them are down-right rude and disrespectful to you – but you don’t come between life-long friendships. You bite your tongue when it’s a “guys night/girls night” and let them do them. You get drunk and binge your show and suck it up.
Being with your soulmate means you clean up sh*t that’s not yours. You do the dishes even if they’re not yours. You’ll clean up their puke when they’re sick and miss the toilet. You’ll clean their hair out of the shower drain. You do it out of “love,” but ultimately, out of “I want to live in a clean home.”
Being with your soulmate means doing sh*t you really don’t want to do. You have to go to their work events because you’re a team. You have to go to their friend’s weddings and kid’s birthday parties because you’re a team.
Being with your soulmate means knowing when to choose your battles. You can’t always fly off the handle about everything and attack when you feel crappy. You can’t complain about things every. single. solitary. second. of. every. single. day. You need to pick and choose your times and battles and let a lot of things go.
Being with your soulmate sometimes sucks. But, truth be told, every relationship sometimes sucks. Who taught you that love was easy? Who taught you that love was ever perfect? Guess what – love is not perfect. Love is real. Love is annoying and button-pushy and sometimes, nauseating. But – love is also something that helps you grow and progress and become stronger – day-by-day.
Love will never be all sunshine and rainbows. It’ll probably be thunder storms and lightening if anything. But – at the end of the day – it makes you a better version of yourself and is unlike anything else you’ll ever experience.