“Sorry, I just farted on your dick”
It was terrible and I laughed so hard I lost my erection.
“I’ve had bigger” still pisses me off and hurts so much to this day.
“I’m too hungover to cum, just hurry up.”, which might have been true, but I’ll never know and that was the only girl I slept with who was experienced enough to tell if I’m subpar in bed, so it’s been pestering me ever since.
“Can you hurry up?” or “Are you almost finished?” is such a fucking buzzkill that it makes the sex last longer. Sometimes I just stop cause she obviously doesn’t want to have sex at that point.
“Your dick is bigger than your brothers.”