Having a puppy is the same as having an alcoholic roommate. Sometimes you come home and they remembered where the pee goes, sometimes not.
— CORINNE FISHER (@PhilanthropyGal) October 7, 2017
My three favorite actors are Lady Gaga, Madonna and J-Lo.
— Natasha Leggero (@natashaleggero) October 6, 2017
Ivanka supports tech education in kindergarten. That way kids as young as 5 can learn how to set up multiple personal email addresses.
— Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) October 5, 2017
You know you've won when your ex gets taken out of the friend group chat ?
— Charlotte Palermino (@charlotteparler) October 4, 2017
my weekend plans? i’m thinking of starting a https://t.co/1YNok17QYi petition to ban production of Oreos that are less than double stuf, u?
— Tess Koman (@tessie_the_mess) October 6, 2017
i came of age in the 90s when people killed off tamagotchis and you don't see me starving my pets to death
— heeseung kim (@heeseung) October 5, 2017