10. Sure you haven’t…
Failed the mandatory “new hire drug test”. I’ve never done drugs…
11. Hate to break it to you but you got played.
Was hired as a bartender (a job in which I had plenty of experience).
First day on shift: They assigned me to filling up helium balloons for their NYE party, along with one other girl, rather than mixing drinks. Whatever, I’ll do what I’m asked. Hundreds of balloons later, my fingers were damn near severed from tying off the stupid things by hand. But I was finished. They told me to go on home.
Didn’t hear anything about my next shift, so I called the owner after a couple of days to find out when she wanted me back in. She says “All of the balloons YOU filled up came down from the ceiling way before midnight. If you can’t even fill up a stupid balloon I’m not going to trust you to make drinks”.
They’re unrelated. 2. How exactly were you able to determine which balloons I filled vs the other girl. 3. Fuck you, my fingers hurt just thinking about it
12. That was going to be a hard issue to get around.
Print shop. One of the senior employees was Deaf. I don’t know Sign Language, and I told them so directly when they asked during the interview. They hired me anyway.
Three days into the job I was fired because I couldn’t talk to the senior employee without writing notes back and forth.