23 Hilarious Stories From People Who Were Fired Their First Week Of Work

16. At least you saved yourself a trip to the doctor.

16 years old. I got a job picking tomatoes. Fired on the first day when they realised I was colour blind after picking all the green ones.

17. This sounds like a movie experience.

I worked at a Japanese Hibachi restaurant in town that had just opened. It was under the table and I was a freshman in high school. Some of my friends worked there too as waiters and waitresses, but I was assigned to the kitchen. I was the only white person who worked in the kitchen, everyone else was either from Japan (chefs) or from Indonesia (dishwashers/prep). Immediately on my first day I was taught some basic Japanese, basic Indonesian, basic food prep skills, and then fully expected to act as a go-between for the two groups.

In the morning the Indonesians had me chopping vegetables I had never seen with knives I had never held. In the evening the Japanese chefs who were normally very stoic would grow sentimental and let me cook with them. I left work well past midnight having not spoken English for hours, sweaty as all hell, and smelling strongly of soy sauce.

My last day of work (day 7) the Indonesians gave me a bracelet made out of seashells from their country to wear. That evening, the Japanese chefs tied a Japanese flag bandana around my head to wear, just like them. They brought in a black and white samurai movie to watch while we worked.

Suddenly, I was called to the boss’s room (whom I had never met or seen). He was Japanese and spoke English with a thick accent. He commanded me to sit, and to my horror I saw that 3 of my coworkers from school were there too. He then informed us that we were all fired, effective immediately. It turned out that one of the shithead white kids was stealing alcohol from the bar and selling it in the parking lot. The boss man didn’t like that, and thought it reflected poorly on all of us white kids. So we were all fired, though I had no idea what was going on. The Japanese chefs looked at me sternly when I went back to grab my things, but gave me firm handshakes. The Indonesians were teary eyed and gave me quick hugs.

I returned to school a few days later and to my boring existence. This was many years ago. It was the greatest job I’ve ever had.

18. I’m not sure this is exactly a fireable offense.

I brought a PB&J.

Turns out the manager was very allergic to peanuts.