19. Family comes first no matter what!
When my wife deployed I got a job at a warehouse in our hometown and signed up for a 55 hour workweek job. I worked 6am to 5pm four days. Then on Friday my boss asked me to stay from 6am to 7pm. I said I couldn’t because my son’s daycare closed at 6:00, but I would stay until 5:40. He called me a slacker and demanded l have one of my in laws pick up my child for me. I left at 5:40 and he called me to tell me I was fired.
20. How dare you, sir! From the “honor system” jar?!
There was a guy at my old job who was fired while training when he got caught stealing from the “honor system” snack money jar in the breakroom. He claims he needed gas money to get home and was gonna pay it back. Sad either way.
21. That guy probably had this coming.
Knew a tour guide who, on one of his first tours, said “watch your step! because much like your lazy wives in bed, these rocks won’t move for you”
Fired 0.03 seconds after