Seems obvious, but dreading having to spend time with your partner:
When you don’t want to spend time with them and you hardly ever see them to begin with.
Absolutes and counting:
Saying things like “You always …” or “This is the 5th time I’ve told you…”
I feel like the counting is just someone whos at wits end about a behavior. “This is the 5th time you’ve put off doing the laundry with me. Now you get to do your own laundry.” Sometimes you need to have evidence to back up your reprimands and new solutions. Its just like your work giving you three write ups before firing you. “This is the third time you’ve shit in the sink, so now you get to exclusively use the one downstairs.” If you try to go “You spilled koolaid on the white sheets again. No more koolaid in the bed” they going to say “This hardly even happens wtf!!” So you have to go “this is the 8th time. Look at these spots!”
Taking little digs:
Taking little digs at each other for no reason. Extra points if it’s something they were told in confidence. Even more if they do it in public.
Big, drastic changes in behavior:
Sudden changes in behavior, especially when there’s no reasonable explanation behind them.
For example…
- Partner used to be very good at texting back, but all of a sudden starts taking hours to respond to simple messages (This is HUGE. From my experience it’s always a sure sign he/she has checked out of the relationship and sees responding to you as a burden/annoyance)
- Partner used to love staying the night and hanging out with you for hours at a time, but suddenly only “has time” to meet for dinner or a quick drink (Again, he/she now sees hanging out with you as a burden and obligation, instead of something on the top of his/her priorities)
- Partner used to rarely use the phone when hanging out with you, but now is texting half the time when you see each other (Probably to text the other guy/girl who has entered the picture)
- Partner wasn’t a fan of drinking and partying, but now loves to go get hammered with single friends 3x a week (AKA actively looking for someone to replace you)
- Partner used to always bring up any issues that were bothering him/her, but now insists everything’s okay despite an obvious change in behavior (Sees communicating issues with you as unnecessary because in his/her head it’s already over)
- Partner used to love holding hands/cuddling/physical affection/sex but suddenly doesn’t want to be touched by you (No longer attracted to you)
When this happens it’s pretty much a sure sign that’s over or will be over soon.
EDIT: Case in point. With the most recent girl I dated, she used to always passionately kiss and embrace me whenever we parted ways. She’d also say cute things like “I’m going to be thinking about you the rest of the day” or “Really hate that we can’t be with each other for longer”… stuff like that. During our last outing, when we were parting ways, she simply gave me a kiss and said “bye”. I instantly had a gut feeling that it was going to be over very soon. And I was right.
When your instinct just knows:
Being worried that every single fight will lead to a breakup. If you believe the breakup is imminent, it’s because it is. I didn’t realize this until I was in a relationship for a while with someone who didn’t threaten to leave over every disagreement.