I have never responded well to random uncomfortable news. Once when I was in college I was getting a haircut and asked how the stylist’s day was going. She said her day was going well but her dog died the night before. Without thinking I said “think of all the money you’ll save on dog food”. Instant regret. It’s one of those things that pops into my head randomly as I try to sleep at night.
While fighting with an ex at one point I zoned out and she caught on and asked what I was even thinking about. Instead of lying, I told her “how weird it would be to eat an orange like an apple”. I was young and very dumb
Once I was having an argument with my partner, she had a problem with me correcting her she said “I know I’m not the brightest tool in the shed but there’s no need to always correct me” I couldn’t stop myself all I said was “sharpest”
My father in law cracked a joke to embarass his wife about something they did in the bedroom the night before. I then cracked a similar joke about my wife and raised my hand for a high five.
I did not receive the high five.
Customer: Thank you
Me: You too