21. This poor, poor guy:
Bought a penis-ring to have sex with my ex-GF. The first (and only) time I used it, I set the ring size way too small – basically choked my penis from lack of circulating blood. Completed sex, but the next morning my penis was shriveled (like half its normal flaccid size)and looked like it was covered in really tiny veins everywhere. Went to the ER and it turns out that I caused ischemia in parts of my penis, burst a few blood vessels, and basically destroyed my ability to get an erection for the rest of my life. I am only in my 20’s.
22. This uncomfortable IHOP experience:
I was at an IHOP with my then fiancée having our usual Saturday IHOP treat meal. This location was always one of the better ones in terms of food quality and service, so we always went there.
That particular day was different however…very different. We had ordered our regular meals ( blueberry topped, stuffed crepes for me, and a bacon and ham scrambler for her), and shot the shit for a bit while waiting. Everything was great so far, then the food came.
My crepes were cooked badly and cold, her scrambler is not the right one and also cold. We complained,(politely mind you, we liked this place after all) and wrote it off as a new cook. When the food comes out I notice right away that my blueberries are missing and the food is cold again.
We tell the waitress who gets the manager, who apologizes profusely and goes into the kitchen. We were seated in such a way that we saw the cook when the manager opened the door, and I noticed two things right away.
1) The cook is indeed new
2) The cook clearly has a learning disability
The manager comes back to us and explains that the cook used to be the dishwasher but was shadowing one of the regular cooks and trying his best. The regular cook had called in sick that day leaving the special cook to fend for himself. The manager comped us and said that he tried to help but was to busy to constantly be back there. Then this happened.
The manager had one of the wait staff step in to cook while he BROUGHT THE DISABLED GUY TO OUR TABLE and had him tearfully apologize to us. That caused the manager to tear up as well as my SO. Then the manager FIRED THE GUY IN FRONT OF US! We of course left pronto.
23. This embarrassing experience at the dentist:
MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED
— Sarah Lyons (@sarbeaaaar) January 3, 2017
24. This bad idea turned worse:
I decided to try and be a parkour expert. My shitty coordination didn’t kill my motivation… Until one evening, I was at a local park, and decided to do a massive wall jump that failed epically. I fell on top of a jabbed surface and tore my intestines. Due to this injury, I now have a permanent colostomy at the ripe age of 16. Mistakes man, they suck.
25. This pretty bad (yet hilarious) aim: