Protip: If your wife asks you “How lazy can you be?” it’s a rhetorical question.
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) December 3, 2017
*wife wonders where I am*
*hears glass break*
*knows where I am*
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) November 20, 2017
My husband almost threw away a package of cookies because they were crumbled so now we have to go marriage counseling. I just hope it’s not too late.
— Judy❤️’s? (@jnapsalot) November 19, 2017
Husband is currently mad at me because I can’t show him how to do something that I don’t even know how to do.
— Kris (@Miss_Kris85) November 30, 2017
Husband: We should go to Costco.
Me [still in pajamas]: So I should change?
H: I said Costco, not Walmart.
Me:*puts on nicer pajamas*
— EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaWhoToYou) July 1, 2017