Everyone wants to find their one, true love. You know, the kind of love that’s the “happily ever after,” the “end-all, be-all” of your life. No more Tinder and Bumble, no more trying to make awkward conversation at the bar with strangers – just tons of time to lay on the couch without pants on watching the same season of The Office every Friday night. F*cking true romance right there, friends. But, in order to get there, one has to win over their potential mate – you know? Really get in there and give it your all. But, sometimes, we do some pretty embarrassing things for love and afterward, we realize we probably shouldn’t have gone so far.
When I was in the 6th grade, I had the most MASSIVE crush on my best guy friend. I would help him with his homework every day in study hallband then afterwards we’d talk about books and TV shows. So of course, my chubby little self had never been rejected, and I decided it would be a good idea to ask him out. And who did I ask for advice? One of the “popular” girls in my class, who told me it was a great idea despite knowing I was going to get shot down immediately. She made sure to be front and center when I asked him out on the playground in front of EVERYONE. Of course he rejected me, but at that point it was still okay to use the excuse “My mom says I can’t have a girlfriend yet.” I was a little heartbroken, but I believed him. Then shortly after he started dating my best friend. I was still friends with the guy even after all the awkwardness, until he changed schools. Now that we’re in college and I see him on social media as beautiful as I remember, I’m tempted to reach out but I also don’t want to relieve the worst day of 12-year-old me’s life again.
In 8th grade, a friend and I signed up to sing a duet in our school’s talent show. The day before the show, my friend got sick and lost her voice, forcing me to change songs or drop out of the show (and lose our participation deposit.) Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I decided to sing my (then) girlfriend’s favorite song, Hey There Delilah. (I knew it was her favorite because it was her MySpace song.) I spent all night learning the song, but when it came time for the show, I completely blanked and forgot the words halfway through the song. Needless to say, I can’t listen to that song without triggering anxiety, and no, I still do not know the words 10 years later.
I had the HUGEST crush in this boy for like a solid 5 years, since 2nd grade. I just thought he was sooo perfect and could do no wrong. in 7th grade i decided to write him a HUGEASS love letter, like I kid you not, it was a solid 3 pages, typed, single spaced. it was anonymous but he figured out that it was me. we did the stupid middle school “dating” where we basically talked over text but it didn’t last lol. now 4 years later we hardly speak and I heard he’s the type of guy to ask for nudes and stuff. yuck, what was i thinking.
When I was sixteen I met a guy in my home town at our yearly carnival. I was a bit too young for him so nothing happened. The next year I had a boyfriend and he sorely tempted me but I said no. When I was 18 and single, and me very much in love with him by that year, we hooked up. He told me he couldn’t commit and I believed that (because issues – him, not me). We had been going on like that for about two years, only meeting twice a year and I’d give in again.
So one night, I was so out of my mind knowing I was going to lose him again for another six months at least bc he’s stopped answering texts again. I called him, rehearsing for a long time, to tell him I wanted things to be just casual (big lie), in order to keep him with me a little longer and a bit more frequently by presenting it as a no-strings thing. I think he saw something coming, because before I could get far, he tried (he did try) to gently break the news that he had met someone who he was in a relationship with now. Turned out, he could commit if it was the right girl, even if it took him years. It took ME years to get over the fact that it wasn’t me. And that I had been willing to betray everything I believe about love just to hold on to him. The whole thing, from my sixteen years onwards to finally letting go, has taken me a good ten years.
I really should have let it go. And guess who saw all of this coming at 16? That’s right. Mom does know best.
I️ had a new, cute boy in my home room junior year of high school. I️ was in the band, and somehow found out he played the saxophone. The band needed more sax players, so I️ immediately told my band teacher his name.
He got called down to the band room during home room one day and was asked to join. He was mortified and refused. EVERYONE knew I️ had been the one to suggest this.
We never happened, but at least my band director tried to be a good wingman.