6. What time is it? Boner time.
I used to get an erection everyday at exactly 10:04AM. Can’t explain why.
7. You probably didn’t expect this collection of boner stories to include one about true friendship, but here it is.
My history teacher told me to go to the board and match the outline of a country to a name. I had one of those no reason boners that teenage guys get, and I REALLY didn’t wanna get up, so I looked over at my buddy R a few rows over, and I said,
‘I have a problem that Danny Sexbang has… Frequently.’
Bro of the year leapt out of his seat and told the teacher he really wanted to do this one.
Also, early senior year at a different school that I transferred to, I was in choir and we were singing a song called Prayer of the Children, about children in war-torn countries and their struggles. And I get another no reason boner, out of the blue. So I sing quieter and tried to not draw attention to myself. Then the choir director said that the basses were singing too quietly, and for us to stand up and get motivated. I remained seated, and the choir director singled me out and said ALL the basses need to stand. So I thought, fuck it, and I stood with my rager proudly at attention.
8. There’s a name for this, and it’s not Jimmy or Peter.
NRB. No reason boner. Happened all the time in high school. Happened once during wrestling practice while I was waiting for my turn to wrestle. I just got up and left. Coach stopped me outside the gym doors and I just said “listen, sometimes I can’t control…” and he just cut me off and said “right, ok. walk it off.”