When it comes to men, sometimes they think they know everything about women. From menstruation to sex to love to life—men think they know all. As it turns out—not quite shockingly—not all men know everything. In fact, there have been hundreds upon hundreds of times where men have gotten it so wrong, it’s almost painful.
Recently, Twitter user @brownandbella asked women online to share the dumbest thing a man has ever said to them about sex, reproductive health, menstruation, or anything else about their bodies.
Women, what is the dumbest thing a man ever said to you about sex, reproductive health, menstruation, etc? Reply with a comment below, no quote RTs.— Bey Phi Bey, Philly Chapter President. (@brownandbella) May 16, 2019
Let's laugh at these dummies together!
I told a guy it’s good manners to ask if the woman came. He said, “Did you?” I told him I hadn’t.— Megan Sass (@Megan_Sass) May 17, 2019
His response? “I know some women can’t the first time for emotional reasons.”
My dad banned me from wearing tampons because they would “take my virginity” and also I would be used to “walking around with a penis between my legs.” Logic that he still fully believes— Young Cami Snow ❄️ (@ThaBrunchMami) May 16, 2019
My ex told me, a women’s health nurse, that the reason my periods were so long and painful was because I don’t drink enough water.— Auntie Lexx (@lexxlugga_) May 16, 2019
I bled a *little* on a guy while having sex in college and apologized when I noticed. He screamed at me that this “can only happen when you have an std,” kicked me out of his dorm, and fb messaged me accusing me of giving him AIDS for like a month— Joyslin (@JoyslinC) May 17, 2019
In sophomore year health class, after the teacher reads aloud the sidebar on ovulation:— Genève (@bergerbell) May 16, 2019
Him: “I don’t get it. How could she not know?”
Her: “Know what? Exactly when ovulation occurs?”
Him: “Yeah. Won’t she feel a draft?”
Him: “You know, when the egg falls out?”
A man said today pregnancy was a positive experience because women get “boobs & the body they’ve always wanted by gaining weight”.— Global Esthetician (@LaBeautyologist) May 17, 2019
And there’s the evergreen stupid classics, 100 different penis stretch out a vagina, but not sex 100x with the same penis.
A man asked me once if women enjoy going to the gyno because "doesn't it feel good for someone to touch you there?"— jones (@pjoneswriter) May 16, 2019
A coworker genuinely thought women did all of our business, including birth, out of 1 hole. He was in his late 20s— Varah T (@VarahTs) May 16, 2019
I went on lunch
I told my ex that I needed a tampon, and he asked me if I could just hold it till I got home.— oddly sexy, BSW (@lupespace) May 16, 2019
He thought girls just peed out their periods.
When I was in labor with our 1st child, I wanted to get an epidural for the god awful pain and my husband said he didn't want his baby drugged up and can I just take an ibuprofen ?— Elle Jay (@mslaceyj) May 16, 2019
Pre-med guy thought that since trauma-related vaginismus is a real thing that any woman raped whose vagina didn't clamp up in...I dunno, rape-vaginismus? was actually biologically willing. Her body wanted the powerful conqueror sperm, he argued, else it would clamp up tight.— Erin Griggs (@Wordslingeuse) May 16, 2019
A man I know was convinced his daughter was having sex because her breasts and hips grew over the summer. Threatened to take her phone, lock her in the house etc. She was just a 13 year old going through puberty. He thought sex made her body develop. ??♀️— Sansa Hive Member (@My_Beloved_One) May 16, 2019
I dated a 21 year old who did not realize that menstruation involved bleeding. He asked me how girls know when their period ends, and when I said "the bleeding stops." He screamed "YOU BLEED???" and recoiled in horror.— Victoria Marini (@LitAgentMarini) May 16, 2019
My husband thought they disconnected the umbilical cord from the baby and put it back inside. Like the hose you use to inflate tires.— Joan Carol (@psychomama) May 16, 2019
If I loved him, I’d have sex with him because that’s the only way you can show people it’s real. pic.twitter.com/Vo3X0kgXGR— Gigi (@gigi__moreno) May 18, 2019
Dated this guy who called it a "click" at first I thought I heard him wrong and then I corrected him and he was like no that's not what it's called. I said then what's a clitoris and he told it was something different. I told him if he didn't know what it was he couldn't touch it— SalteeCaramel (@Slick_Fox) May 16, 2019
I was talking about how sometimes when you laugh or sneeze huge blobs shoot out of you, he looked disgusted and asked "can't you take some sort of medicine for that?" Like I wish I could— Steven Quartz Universe ? (@Nana_Scorpio_) May 16, 2019
I dated a guy who thought we had to use condoms while I had my period not because of hygienic issues but because women can only get pregnant while they have their period. He was in his middle 20s.— NordseeNail ? (@dieNail) May 17, 2019
When I was about 15 a boy told me when women orgasm their vaginas shut tight for up to an hour afterwards during which time the penis couldn’t be freed. And this was why it was safer for women not to orgasm.— Petra Boynton (@DrPetra) May 16, 2019
My father never let me lift up anything even barely heavy, because he thought if women strained themselves their ovaries could explode.— Allison Robicelli (@robicellis) May 16, 2019
He asked me why we don’t just “push it all out at once” instead of “waiting for it fall out” over 7 days.— Allyson M. Holley?? (@allysonholley) May 16, 2019
Dude had a headache, and I offered hi Advil. He pauses and asks, “Will the medicine know where to go? You know, because I don’t have girl parts.”— sally kilpatrick (@SuperWriterMom) May 17, 2019
My man, Advil is not specific to menstrual cramps.
An ex told me I didn’t love him enough and that’s why it hurt when we had sex. I have vulvodynia and vaginismus, as well as endo. I didn’t know that then, so I believed that something was wrong with me.— Barb E. Dahl ✨ (@Iesterbangs) May 18, 2019
After I gave birth to my son a male coworker and I were discussing PPD and he said "But like... that's mostly just women being sad that they're not getting special attention anymore because they arent pregnant anymore." ?— Alex Reglin (@alexreglin) May 18, 2019
A guy in his 20s thought that every women had her period at the EXACT SAME TIME. Because of the moon.— Regina Griffin (@Regina_Griffin) May 16, 2019
One time a guy swore to me that a woman’s g spot moves and it was men’s job to continually try and and find this floating g spot that is always in a different place ????— chuntiana (@alta_matic) May 16, 2019
A guy gave me a box of tampons to use as contraception bc the box said “Maximum Protection”— lizbian awkweird (@LizzieBedDeath) May 18, 2019