8 Things You Do When You’re A Horrible Wing Woman

A wing woman is a right-hand lady to her (single) BFF when out at the bar, club, or anywhere there are potential males. She makes sure that her single BFF is set up with only men who are suitable and she blocks off any sleazy men from coming her BFF’s way. It is essential that the job of a wing woman is done correctly. The worst thing in the world is when you think your BFF has you covered and is paving the way for you to go and talk to this guy. Then you realize that she has been talking about her cat having kittens and how you talk in your sleep for the past 20 minutes. He quickly becomes uninterested in you…and her. Being a successful wing woman requires talent and a charming personality, just like working on Wall Street. You either have the chops or you don’t.

1. You talk too much about yourself.

The purpose of a wing woman is to drop hints about your single BFF that needs the hookup, not to be blabbing your life story to the guy your BFF wants to be set up with. He doesn’t care about your foot fetish, or about your cat at home. This isn’t about you, Becky, this is about your friend. If you think that the world revolves around you and everyone wants to hear your bullsh*t – newsflash – they don’t. You need to cut it.

2. You have no filter.

You somehow managed to always slip and share highly inappropriate stories about your BFF; like how she still sleeps with a teddy bear or snores. He doesn’t need to know that yet – or at all. If you keep slipping about things that shouldn’t be said at all, you’re never going to successfully find someone for your girl. Reign it in, don’t embarrass her.

3. You make really horrible jokes.

The corny jokes that you think are so funny, really are not that funny. Just stop while you are ahead. Knock knock jokes are so middle school, and joking about how your friend was too nervous to come over and talk to the guy herself isn’t a joke – it’s mortifying. Don’t make fun of others just to make yourself feel better. Again, this isn’t about you, it’s about your friend.

4. You babble so much that your friend has to come cut you off.

If your friend at any point has to step in and intervene, you are a terrible wing woman. The point of you is to ease the introduction for your BFF, not to make her have to jump in full force and make you stop talking. Don’t babble for hours about things that don’t matter, make a quick convo and then ease into the introduction – it’s that simple. There’s no need to make it so complicated by going on and on about your cat.