12 People Reveal How They Make Their Relationships Work Even Though Their Partner Has A Different Sex Drive

People have been knockin’ boots since the dawn of time, it more or less runs our lives. Think about it advertisements, T.V, music no matter where you turn people are getting it on. You simply can’t escape it. Anyone in a long-term relationship knows that there could be ups and downs in the frequency in which you and your partner take part in dirty deed. Sex, I’m talking about sex people. Depending on the couple involved and the length of their relationship the amount of sex they are having can differ.

Everybody’s sex drive differs, no matter how in love you may be. This can lead the relationship to become frustrating and strenuous. Luckily, this doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a death sentence on your relationship. Even if you both love getting it on you might find that you and your partners “moods” are on two completely different pages. This is a harsh reality of serious relationships and something alot more people than you’d think deal with. Here are different couple’s sharing how they handle their relationship when their sex-drive simply isn’t matching their significant other.

1. What a team player.

I just have sex with him, even if I’m not horny. Just grab the lube and we’re good to go. [for fuck’s sake] it’s not that complicated if he’s horny I should let him have me… I like the warmth and the closeness and hearing his moans and knowing I’m making him feel good, basically, no matter WHAT kind of mood I’m in.

2. Communication is key people.

Talk a lot to each other. I end up ‘settling’ for HJs quite often, but that tides me over and honestly keeps me really happy especially given I know she’s doing it to make me happy / cause she cares. And then I make sure I more than pay her back when I catch her in a situation where she is ‘in the mood’. On top of that, the fact we’re open about things means I don’t feel anymore (I did when things first sort of slowed down) like she’s not interested (in it or me) or that I’m doing something wrong. Communication!

3.  Romance is alive and kicking

What I like to do that helps him get into a relaxed mindset is light some candles, play an album of Explosions in the Sky and give him a full body massage. 🙂

4.  I’m not crying! You’re crying!

It can be a real minefield. My wife married this big, heavy dude but now I’m super thin and my face is a bit fucked up from cancer. She’s had to jettison pretty much everything she was attracted to and accept the post-treatment ‘me’. The only way we got through all this is by communicating openly and honestly.

To be fair I know she’d like it to be the way it was but there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. I’ll never gain weight again, never get my teeth back I had to lose, never fix these scars and wounds. It’s the me that cancer left and it’s who I am now.

She’s been great about it all though. I’m far too lucky. Just last night we were in bed and my bottom denture popped out right in the middle of things. I. Was. Horrified. I started to retreat in shame and she pulled me back with “That’s not stopping anything” and she went on like nothing happened. That’s why we’ve been married 20 years, she knows to share the load when it gets heavy. She let me feel good instead of shame and that meant the world in that moment.

I make up for it in other ways. Compensating I guess is what you would call it. I’ve learned to really cook and I make her very nice meals and elegant desserts. Bring her lunch, make sure her car is super clean. Beat her to unloading the dishwasher, stuff like that.

Anyway, talk it out OP. It’s not always going to be something you can overcome but it’s not insurmountable either.

5. Preparation and patience go a long way vibrators also help.

Typically, barring a week or so during the month, I simply don’t get horny. While he is up for it more often than not (every other day or so). So we’ve worked on what turns me on… Vibrators when I’m up for it, but my body isn’t yet, reading when I know he’ll be in the mood for it to start getting myself ready, and lowering stress and anxiety helps extend the length of time I’ll stay in the mood. It doesn’t quite even the playing field, but it gets it a hell of a lot closer.