Vaginas. We all got ’em, unless we don’t. But for those of you that do, how much do you actually know about your vagina? Do you know why it’s actually called a vagina? Do you know that your vagina can fall out of your vagina? What else do you not know about your own vagina? How many more times can I fit the word ‘vagina’ in this post?
1. Vaginas can CLAMP DOWN ON PENISES.
Vaginas are so strong they are sometimes able to perform “penis captivus,” a Harry Potter spell whereby the muscles in the vagina clamp down intensely on the penis during intercourse, thus making it impossible to withdraw. The only uncool thing about this superpower “affliction” is that it is incredibly rare and involuntary.
2. The vagina doubles in size when aroused…because it has PLEATED WALLS.
During intercourse, tenting causes the upper two-thirds of the vagina to expand in order to facilitate the movement of sperm up to the cervix. When the walls of the vagina open up to accommodate a penis or tampon, the sides spread out and widen sort of like a pleated skirt or an umbrella. It can swell from half an inch to 2 inches wide during sex and then return right back to regular size. However childbirth might stretch that sucker out too far to bounce back without some professional help.
3. The word “vagina” comes from the Latin root meaning “sheath” or “scabbard for a sword.”
I would’ve preferred “pleasure hole” or maybe “penis foyer” but I guess “dick holder” will have to do. By association, the word “gladius” (sword) was a common term for the penis. More interesting etymology: “Vulva” and “uterus” were used interchangeably to mean the word “wrapper,” like a baby wrapper (cute!) while “clitoris” is thought to come from the word “kleis”, a key AKA a way in you feel me? In this arena the Greeks and Romans were really centuries ahead of their time.
4. There are 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris.
And their only function is female pleasure. The penis only has 4,000. ?
5. The clitoris is way bigger than you thought it was.
Researchers have only recently discovered that the clitoris isn’t this lil hooded thing above the vagina, but is in fact an entire organ of its own hidden inside the body. Some medical professionals estimate it is somewhere around the size of a “medium zucchini.”
